Life and Work, In That Order

This is The Unholy Union. A podcast where you'll be subjected to highly offensive marital discourse. If you do not feel insulted during this week's episode, don't worry. We'll try harder next week. If you can relate to our ramblings, we wanna be friends with you. If you believe that we take it too far or our mouths are too much for you, then with as much love and sincerity as we can muster, you can suck it. Welcome to the Unholy Union.

Today, we're gonna talk about work.

Oh.

So

trying to be a little more organized in life these days, we're gonna start doing more overarching generalized

themes

and kinda break it down from there as we go along.

Now

I want to start with talking about terms that we've heard recently.

It's like ever since COVID, there's like all these buzzwords and keywords

that have been floating around. One of them, which I'm sure you've heard, quiet quitting. Right? Yes. Heard that. Of that. Yep. Uh-huh.

What is it? It's where you go to work, but,

essentially, you don't give them your best because you are, I don't know, done.

I think that really came around because of the great resignation. Right? Like, people were just sick of the bullshit and

wanted to

I don't know if it was the great resignation or more of the, hey, you gotta come back to work now that COVID is over

type stuff.

Oh. No. Seriously. I mean,

people did not want to go back to work. People don't wanna go into the office anymore because Spend time commuting. Spend time yeah. It was proven that it's

sustainable, and it works to work from home. So

going back to the office was a nonstarter for a lot of people, and guess what? They quite quit, or they just fucking quit. Right.

Well and you also hit on remote work. That was a big buzzword, like and it still seems to be something prevalent today. But have you heard of quiet

firing?

I don't what is that? Like, Milton from Office Space? Yep. Where they fix the glitch and he doesn't get paid and they just don't tell him until

he asks questions?

Pretty much. So

quiet firing is where a company

then decides or your supervisor or manager then decides

to not give their best to,

kinda check out on you

as far as quiet firing goes.

Yeah. But I'm confused

at what or

why it's

how is that firing?

Well A company is just gonna fucking fire you. Well, if they need somebody to fill a seat, can't fire you right away. So they keep you there, but they don't give you their best.

And then, eventually,

a person, I would think, realizes adding quits. Wow. Well, there's another one.

Quiet hiring.

So this is all stupid. Uh-huh. It's getting

crazy. I'm coming to a point with this, though, but let's keep talking. So quiet hiring is where a manager essentially gives you more responsibilities,

but doesn't give you a new title or compensation.

I feel like that has happened forever.

So the fact that this is Oh, this has happened forever. If you don't like a job, are you gonna go in there and do your best? No. If somebody like your boss doesn't like you, do you think they're gonna give you their best? No. This is all not this isn't new shit. This is

Yep. There are buzzwords now. No. That's just because people decided that's the thing to talk about now. It's dumb. Well, I wanna create a buzzword.

Buzz phrase. What is it? Word. Buzz phrase. Okay.

Mutual flexibility.

We have gone through a couple of cycles right now. Right? Before COVID, it was the company had the power to hire and fire, and people honestly were kind of scared about their jobs.

Then came COVID

and the great resignation, and you're working from home. The per the people had the power at that point. Now that we're coming out of COVID, it feels like the market is trying to decide where the power lies.

And

not to sound kumbaya,

but

I think the power should be equally separated. Like, mutual flexibility to me means that you have a company that understands

families first,

but you also have an employee that understands shit's gotta get done. Well, yes. So there's mutual flexibility.

If you have never worked overtime the whole time you've worked at a company, but they needed to do it for 2 weeks because of a deadline coming up, you are flexible.

But if you have your kids' piano lesson

every week, this time, this day, your company's flexible to let you go on those time, those days.

So I feel like the next phase needs to be a mutual flexibility because, again, another buzzword,

is work life balance. Right? Yeah.

Work life balance is very important, especially for

most people.

Right. I mean,

there yeah. I mean, I've got something that I pulled off of Reddit that has to do with work life balance, but I I will let you finish. Thank you. I'm a let you finish. That's it. That's at the end. Calm down. No. No. No. No. No. This this goes right into work, life balance, so we have to talk about it right now. Whole conversation that we're about to have is about work. Just pause. Okay.

So mutual flexibility is what I think the next phase of work needs to be. And they've done a lot of studies on remote work as far as you're not gonna be able to put the genie back in the bottle.

Market is demanding it. A lot of articles that I have seen have said that 26 percent of US employees work remotely as of 2022,

and there should be about 36,200,000

remote employees by 2020

5. Well, that yeah. It should be more than that. And then 68% of employees

want remote work. Yeah. There's a lot of jobs out there that can be easily done remote that

you're wasting

rent money to rent a facility

for these people just to sit in all day and look at each other and go to the coffee pot and waste time, or

you just let them work from home, and then their power bill is

their responsibility.

You're not running AC in a big ass building. You're not running lights in a big ass building. You're not running office equipment in a big ass building. They it's all employee responsibility.

Right. And I've seen one of my friends post on LinkedIn about culture. It's company is saying we need to save the culture.

And what culture can you

cultivate

by forcing people into the office and then give them a pizza party? Like That that's dumb too. No. Culture, I think, is again, move needs to move towards mutual flexibility. Once you get there, it's almost like mutual respect. Right? If my company says,

hey. We know you're sick or we know your daughter's sick or whatever, and they're like, don't worry about just take care of business, then I'm gonna give that back to them. Exactly. And allowing me to remote work every day is

something that

I enjoy, and

I respect

that my company gives me that option. Yep. I a 100% agree. I think that is what we,

as a market for employers and employees, need to move towards

as we go into the next phase. It'll be really interesting to see

how the market shifts.

Yeah. I agree with that. We're,

I don't know, though. It's kinda worrying me because

a lot of the news stories that I see are about

big tech

going back into the office, and I have a feeling

that it'll be a snowball effect to where a lot of people are gonna start requiring their employees to go back in. I'm not sure that I fully believe that. Okay. So I read Apple Apple

was taking attendance.

Well, they're talk Attendance. Apple's one of those companies that talks about their culture has been impacted since Oh, big fucking deal. Well, again, what is your culture? What do you mean by that? Are you talking about collaboration?

Can you not do that remotely?

Did you not do that throughout COVID? So I hear that

and want to ask more questions. Like, what what happened to your culture that you feel

shifted?

I don't know. I can't speak for them. And, obviously, there's gonna be jobs out there that require you to go in the office. Of course. I mean, that's just the way it is. But

making the entire

organization go back in just because you own a big $1,000,000,000

building is dumb.

Well, in pre COVID, again, it was the companies had the power.

During COVID, the employees did. And now that we're coming out of that, we're trying we'll see which way it swings.

But the potential

or if you believe we're already in a recession coming, I think, to your point, may

allow companies to have more power. Oh, yeah. It it's gonna be an employer's market because people are gonna be desperate. Right. They're going to say,

I will take whatever I can get

as long as I have a job. And if I gotta go in the office, then I will go in the office. Yep. And that sucks. I know. I agree.

Well,

do you wanna say your Reddit thing before I move on? Yeah. Because it goes along with that work life balance, and it's it's a thread on Reddit, anti work,

but I am anti employer forcing the work until you drop mentality on its employees.

Them expecting you to work,

fuck, I don't know, 80 hours a week and things like that. I think that's that's healthy. Yeah. And think that's healthy, and that's okay.

Well, there's a thread on on anti work, and it's posted by

Mansuraslanam.

I got I can't. I'm trying. No. No. No. I tried. It's close enough. But it was a person. It looks like it was posted on

LinkedIn as well, and it says, Elon Musk is under fire

for building bedrooms at Twitter HQ for employees. I don't get it. To be honest, I slept under my desk at least 3 nights a week when I worked in banking.

The first time I got promoted to a manager, I had to work 16 to 18 hours routinely.

I'd finish work at 2 to 3 AM, sleep on the floor. The janitor would show up at 7 AM. I'd go shower in the gym and pick up dry cleaning and to change into,

and then I was back to work.

I always wore my hair up, and it was always wet because I never ever had time to blow dry it. That's how intense the grind was. I would have killed for a bed in the office.

This kind of grind is highly desirable early career.

Now that is bullshit. That is toxic. The fact that she is justifying

her company's treatment of her

That is is insane. I guarantee you she is on medication for anxiety and or depression. You can't live like that. No. And the fact that she's

essentially defending it,

like, it's okay when, in all honesty,

if she was to get fired

or no. She just quit. Say she just walked in and was like, you know what? I'm tired of this shit and I quit. They would replace her instantly. They don't give a shit about her. You are replaceable at work. 100%.

You're an asset to them,

but you are a replaceable

asset. You're like a piece of equipment. You are a body in a chair, and you are

doing something for them. A 100%. They will find somebody else to do that. You are providing the service.

And once you are not providing that service, they find somebody else to provide the service. Right. And it it's What's the age group of that person, you think? I don't know. Her name it I don't know. It could very well be a fake person, but it's posted on here, and the person's name is Naya.

I don't know. It's just I thought that was very

messed up. I'd be curious to know what generation they are. Because if they're boomers, totally makes sense. If they're know. Gen x thing,

no way a millennial or a gen z posted that. I just I can't

the fact that they are okay with it in saying that she would have killed to have a bed at work.

What the fuck? This is sad. Come on, man. If she got into a car accident on the way into work, she would be replaced immediately.

I bet she would've killed for a 4 day work week.

I'm sure. Or remote work so she could sleep her own fucking bed.

Switching topic.

So Oh my goodness. The 4 day work week is now a thing. Have you heard this?

I mean, it's been a thing for

people In other countries? Well, not just that, but

we know people that work 4 days a week. True. But as a

country standard

Oh, oh, yeah. You know what? I did hear about that. Isn't it isn't the federal government starting to make that the standard or talking about making it the standard? No. Oh, okay. I quit. I try. I quite quit. The,

Congress, I forget which side of Congress right now, but one of them is considering a bill for a 4 day work week to make it a country standard. Isn't that what I just said?

No.

They're trying to pass a law. Oh, well, they can't the federal government, like, as a employer. Congress is trying to pass a law. They can't do that, though.

Why not?

Because you can't dictate what

days people work and what days they don't in a private company. Dictates the 5 day work week?

It doesn't matter. Oh, so I'm confused. What what is that gonna do? Is that just gonna be like a, symbolic

law or what? I have no idea. I haven't read the law or the bill at this time. But

they, as in Congress, are reviewing something that'll say that 4 day work week is the standard for the country.

To your point,

private companies don't have to do that. That's what I mean. Like, why bother when it's just symbolic and employers

or 4 day work week. So guess what? Breakfast joint, you can't fucking open on Sunday.

Shut up. However,

there are 11 companies here in the US that are currently already adopting the 4 day work week. Oh, I'm Now there are 4 that I thought were pretty big name. No. I lied. 3. 3. 3 that I thought were pretty big name and would be recognizable.

One of them

is thredUP.

I don't even know what that is. Similar to Stitch Fix, kinda like what you get close.

Oh, like, the subscription thing? Okay. I think so. I think that's what it is. Then Poll Everywhere. It is a website where you can create availability polls.

Okay. Something else I've never heard of. But okay. Keep going. Yeah. I've heard of both of those.

And then this one was the biggest one that I thought was on the list, Panasonic.

Oh, okay. Yeah. I I know Panasonic.

Yes. So it They are moving towards 4 day work weeks now. But aren't they based out of another country? Or is that an American country or a company? I believe they're all American, but I could be wrong. I could I don't know either. Okay. But, anyways, now I have questions about this, though, a 4 day work week.

Do they still have remote options? Because some all 3 of those companies had remote options

pre or, I guess, post pandemic

and I think pre 4 day work week. Okay.

As well as

what are the hours? Are they still working 40 hours a week? Nah. Yeah. I'm sure. Most of the time when you work 4 tens, it's 4 tens, 4 10 hour days. I guess my point is if this bill passes,

would it still

be 40 hours is the standard for a work week? Or would it go down to that what is it? Like, the 37.5

or something like that?

Ugh. But all that to say,

would a 4 day work week also help

with the idea of mutual flexibility, with the idea of

remote work or stopping

any of the quiets that we talked about? I don't know. I think

that, yeah, of course,

leaving it up to choice for the employee is the best option. If Panasonic wants to say,

yeah. You're gonna have to start doing 4 10 hour days, and somebody's like, no. I'm a fuck that. I like coming in, and I like to leave in 8 hours. They're not obviously not gonna like it, so they're probably gonna quite quit.

But if you say if Panasonic says, hey.

Company policy is

if you wanna do 4 tens, you can do it. If you wanna do 5 eights, then you can do it. I don't give a shit. Just as long as you get your work done and you do 40 hours a week, I don't care.

Yeah. I I think that's really smart. I like that idea. I think choice is good. It makes the employer the idea of mutual flex sorry.

I think it makes the employer look good

as a benefit to hiring people, and people are gonna look and flock to companies like that that say, look. This is how flexible we are. We don't care.

Or we have these two options

of schedules,

and you get to pick. We don't pick for you. You get to pick.

Yeah. I think that goes back to the idea of mutual flexibility. Right? As long as

both sides are

open to

whatever

choices,

if Panasonic is giving these options to the employee and the employee is flexible and can

be in either of those, it would stop all the quiet bullshit.

People are

crazy,

and I just

I get that some employers aren't good. That's just the name of the game, but you have the option of finding something else. I know it's hard.

Interviewing sucks.

Starting a new job sucks. But

It gets harder as you get older too. Yeah. It does. But you can't put if that employer

sucks, then you gotta leave.

That

leave and then spread the word.

You know? Don't

just sit there and take it. Don't work fucking

18 hours a day and sleep on the floor till the janitor comes and hits you in the head with a fucking mop.

That's dumb. No. Don't do that. You quit. You leave. It doesn't ruin your life over Exactly. And that's the thing. Like, when she is on her deathbed

What is she gonna say? She's gonna look back and say That was a nice janitor.

I missed

all of this stuff.

You know what I mean? I missed all this because all I can remember is my 20 hour workdays.

Yep. That is not what you wanna do

when you're about to die.

Your hours of increments keep creeping up. No. But it seriously, think about that.

If you are dying and maybe she has kids, I don't know, she might not. She

doesn't have time, it seems like.

Or maybe she wished she had kids on her deathbed because but she spent

18 hours a week or 18 hours a day there. Right. So she couldn't have kids. She couldn't have a love life or whatever it is. You gotta

no. Set boundaries.

Yep. Don't allow that stuff to happen because when you do that, they're gonna keep piling it on too.

Well You're a cog in the machine.

If you work 18 hours a week and you're not complaining or you're not quitting, you're gonna keep working 18 hours a week. Mhmm.

It's it becomes expected of you. Yep.

That idea of flexibility.

And

I really like what you said about having the option, having choices.

And there's another

benefit, if that's the word I'm trying to go for, Benefit. Took a second.

That companies are offering

as a way for

employees

to have more

work life balance

and is unlimited PTO.

Of those 3 companies that I mentioned that are moving towards the 4 day work week, only one of them has unlimited PTO as a benefit. Okay. Yeah.

Now I can see that as a benefit, but I also see that as a negative.

Well, let's talk about it.

I read a Forbes article, and the reason one of the reasons, not the sole, but one reason why companies are moving towards unlimited PTO

is to allow

employees to have more flexibility

so that they can take as much or in any time off that they need when they need it.

As well,

or on the flip side of that,

what companies are trying to avoid by allowing unlimited PTO Is paying them out when they accrue

a 100

and 50 hours of annual leave. Exactly right. Yeah. They don't wanna pay you that money. Nope. When you leave a company, if it has offered unlimited PTO as a benefit, they will no longer pay you out for any unused leave because it's unlimited. What are they gonna pay you? Yeah. And leaving a job,

in my experience, having a bunch of leave, that's a very nice cushion

to have, and you're like, alright. Send that over. I've got 4 weeks. I've got a month a whole month worth of pay waiting for me. Now they don't do that Yep. Because of unlimited PTO.

And not only that.

Do you think it's really unlimited?

Well, the Forbes article That's a buzzword.

Uh-huh.

The Forbes article actually goes on to say that employees are less likely to to take time off when it's unlimited PTO than if they were forced to because it's a use or lose situation. But why is that?

That doesn't Because they're not being forced to take the time off. Like, if you only get 30 hours a year to take off, I'm just throwing a number out there, and you have to use it before the end of the year

and you don't, you lose it. So you're forced to take that time or you're gonna lose it. You're losing your benefit.

Whereas when it's unlimited,

you can take it whenever,

and

most people are less likely to take it.

I'm almost wondering if

it's

because

they feel bad if they take it, or

they're so invested in the company and working 18 hours a week that they feel like they can't take it. Let's talk about us. When's the last time we took a vacation? Oh, it's been a long time.

It's a perfect example.

We aren't forced to take our leave,

so we are less likely to take time off. Yeah. But and I also think that leads into the work from home thing. I think I bet. I don't know for a fact, but I bet more people that work from home, the less time they take off too.

Could be true. Because, like, if you if you're a little under the weather

and you could work, but you're like, fuck that. I ain't driving an hour to get into the office. But instead, you stay in your jammies, and you fucking just walk into your home office

and clock in and just knock out some menial tasks while you're feeling a little crummy.

There's that's a big benefit, I think, for both sides.

True.

In Europe,

how many days on average do you think they take off as a whole well, they're kind of a continent. But Europe as a whole, how much on average do you think workers take off per year? Per year? Days. At least 2 months, I bet.

No.

More? 20 days on average.

Oh, okay. So a whole month. Okay. Almost a whole month. What do you think the US average is?

5.

10.

That's crazy.

So we are half of what Europe takes. Yeah. And in the culture, though,

I think it's

it leads more into

the US

is about, like, this person that I read about

working at 16 to 18 hours a week. That's the culture here. For sure. It's like work till you're dead.

I hate that crap. Agreed. And I've seen many stories of people who work abroad,

whether either on Visa or they actually just moved.

And the culture in other countries, specifically like Europe,

is a lot slower. We've all heard the rumor of siestas.

Wasn't there a country that said that

made mandatory naps a thing?

That's a siesta thing. Is that what that is? Yeah. Oh, see. I don't means siesta. I don't know. I I speak English. You pass Spanish because of me. Let's be clear.

Oh my gosh. But I think that also leads into why, as Americans, we have such a mental health crisis. Like, work

is such a big part of life in the US.

You like that person you read,

it's

you have

to accelerate. You have to

overachieve.

You have to constantly be grounding.

It's a live to work mentality.

And that's suck. Yes. Instead of work to live, and even work to live is wrong in my opinion.

You shouldn't

have

to work

16 to 18 hours a day

just to live.

Just to make ends meet. Just to make ends meet. That's a bunch of crap. Right. Because at that point, what what ends are you making meet? Like,

you have, what, 6 hours a day that's yours?

And you have to fucking sleep. We all know that.

Well, I saw this thing where

a lady, she had moved to Italy from

the US, and she said that it's so interesting how the US, you have to build in things that are self care. You have to build in the gym. You have to build in

eating. You have to eating healthy and supplements and but in Italy, everything is already in your daily life. They go for walks all the time, and they have nutrition nutritious food. And

things aren't have to have a place, I guess. They don't have to have a place in your life rather than being built into it automatically. Yeah. And, again, I think that goes to mental health.

And I saw this tip on LinkedIn

that when you're at work, if you're experiencing these moments where you feel like you have to grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, and your anxiety is spiking, and you have cortisol rolling through you,

Stop with an acronym. You ready for this?

S t o p,

job.

S,

pause, take a moment.

Be mindful.

Sorry.

Be mindful.

T,

take a deep breath.

Take a inhale through your nose, out through your mouth. You said

s is for pause?

Stop. Oh, okay. Okay. I gotcha. Pause.

Keep

going.

I messed you up. You did. T, take a breath.

O, observe what's around you. Be mindful. We'll get the things around you. What is surrounding you? What is immediately

near you?

Be one with your surroundings.

And then, p, proceed on. You should be calm down and at least

be able to refocus

while at work. This reminded me a lot. 54321

technique. Yes. Yep.

Wanna explain? I can't really remember the exact

order of things, but it it goes along. And this is a

very well known anxiety technique when you are

borderline panic attack or stuck in your head.

This pulls you out of it and gets you back into the present moment, and it's 5 things you can see. And I like when I do this thing, I go through it really slow

just on purpose to kinda, like,

really look to find things that are unique or whatever. So five things you can see,

4 things you can touch.

So if you're sitting at a desk and you've got a pen, touch it, but touch it and try to, you know, really feel it. Don't just rush this process.

And then 3

was

3 things you can hear,

and I like to really focus in on what's different out you know, what sounds I can hear. Can I hear the AC humming, or can I hear a bird chirping? Things like that.

Two things, I think, are

taste?

No. Not taste.

No. 2 things you can smell. Mhmm. So

just make sure you're not near a dumpster or anything. Don't be breathing that all in. But 2 things you can smell or taste or smell. Golly.

2 things you can

smell,

one thing you can taste. So

toothpaste,

I don't know, coffee

Gum. Gum, something like that. But that if you take your time with it, it really does

pull you back from being internal and internalizing a lot of problems and stressing yourself out about, oh, can I get this done?

It changed your mindset because it puts you in that present moment,

and it works

wonderfully.

I recommend everybody, even if you don't have

a condition of anxiety or whatever,

I recommend everybody do this when they're feeling a little bit

Stressed. Elevated and stressed. Yeah. For sure. It's an awesome tool, and it

I do it even when I don't really need to just because it just it's a grounding technique,

and it works.

For sure. Try it.

That's exactly what I thought of when I saw the stop. So I think

just the idea

of taking a breath,

pausing,

recognize your surroundings, and then moving on. Yeah. That's all you need to do if you are feeling the stress, and

take more time off. It's very scary when you get into those moments because it's hard to bring yourself back to reality. There's

moments

this is all mental health stuff, obviously, but there was moments where

with OCD

and anxiety that I would be so far

internal

that people could talk to me, and I'd have no idea that they were talking to me because

I was just a shell.

Like, I was there,

but I was focusing on

the feelings of

anxiety or the weird thoughts that I would have. But that 54321

technique

yanks you out of it. It forces you out of that

weird state that you're in.

I like it. I like the technique. Me too.

Well, I think we're ready for our kid talk.

Oh, Ted talks.

No. Kid talk.

This segment is brought to you by our daughter. Yeah. And she's gonna give some thoughts on what she thinks about work. Alright.

Kid talk about work.

What

do you want to be when you grow up?

A doctor.

What kind of doctor?

Surgeon.

Oh, okay. Surgery.

Like

so

surgeons, they usually have

a specific part that they work on. I said surgery. I know. What part of the body do you think you would be a surgeon for?

The heart,

the brain? Heart, and the brain. You're gonna do all that?

That's a lot, but that's good. Alright. So next,

what do you think

me and mommy do at work?

You lazy?

What do you mean?

Because we're sitting on a computer all day? I Yeah. I wish I was being lazy.

Alright.

And

what do you think a lot of money is?

A lot of money is, like,

$100,

$200,

$300.

You think that's a lot of money?

You think that can pay the mortgage and stuff so I can buy you a house?

How about $400,800?

Yeah. I might be able to buy you a, cardboard box

in DC.

Oh gosh.

And then

what does it mean to work hard?

Work hard means, like,

you're shrugged

and get an ape. That's something else.

Oh, it's like the same thing. You're comparing working hard to getting really good grades. Mhmm. It's kinda the same, I guess. If you work hard, you get a good grade.

Yeah. And sometimes if you work hard, you get

more money, but sometimes you might not. More more money.

What do you think about work life balance?

What is that?

What do you what do you think

about

working and then having time off to spend with your family? What's important?

Have families

So you think that

not working

20 hours a week or 20 hours a day is good because you wanna spend time with your family.

Alright.

I was surprised she didn't say dentist again. Oh, yeah. That's true. I'd that has been her

thing since

she could talk.

Very true.

Well, I think that's it.

Alrighty.

It's what you do with things you love.

Boom shakalaka.